MY PRAYER

Dear Friend:

This is my honest thoughts for today and it became a prayer to God.

 “Lord in the midst of not knowing what is going to come next. What will next week be like? What will next year look like? What will I be doing after Christmas? Struggling I want to see what it will look like, so I can just live it out. I guess that sounds controlling, doesn’t it Father? I want to show You what it will should be like. Instead of waiting on You to show me. I want the answers now. I think if I have the answer then there won’t be any hurt, pain or surprises involved. I don’t like when others say ‘Things are going to change boy are you not going to be able to handle it.’ When my mom died it was a complete surprise. I got up that day getting ready for Christian Summer camp. I was praying for the students and the camp. I was full of energy and excitement. I also knew things with my mother’s health was not perfect. That day I prayed for her and my sister who was taking care of her. I prayed that my sister would be strong and patient with her. I even wrote a note to my mom saying ‘I’ll spend time with you when I get back, I love you and will pray for you.’ I felt so confident in the decision to go to camp. Driving along about five hours away the call came. I looked at my phone and I knew my sister would not call me. I knew what she was going to say. I pulled over on the side of the road. In my gut I knew I would hear the words ‘mom is gone.’ Here is the truth about that situation. Lord you help me drive twenty more minutes to camp and a beautiful lady named Ruth took my in her arms. She loved me. Fed me. Stayed with me. Let me talk about my mom for hours. She guided me to decide what to do next. She was the hands, feet and voice for you God. She was ready and willing to be your servant that day. I acknowledge your provision that day. Your plan was perfect. I could not receive phone calls that would disturb my peace. The faithful people of God were ready to fill me up and send me back home to put my mom to rest. Next you did something even more profound. You had my friends meet me half way home to drive me the rest of the way. You did this God. You made things easier so I can deal with the situation. When I got home I wept in my office uncontrollably. I was saying ‘I can’t do this Lord. I can’t go see my mom with no life in her. I just can’t get it together.’ I looked at my bible Lord. I said ‘You say this book when read gives life and peace.’ Help me Lord! Help me to understand how this works. I read the word ‘Blessed are those who are mourn for they will be comforted.’ God, I see those words but how will I be comforted? How Lord? ‘I can do all things through You who strengthens me!’ The truth Lord came to me. I can’t! But you can! You have been helping me! Lord this truth strengthens me to complete the next week. Each moment I wanted to say ‘I can’t.’ The words became a  barricade around my mind.  ‘I can with You.’ God, here is the truth, I don’t like this situation today. But I love You. It comes down to this. You are God alone. You are all knowing. You work all things together for me because You love me.  You will continue to help me! Lord, today I plead with You to barricade my mind with this truth. Whatever comes my way I will be able to do all things with You. Lord, I want to be Your hands, feet and voice like Ruth was that day. My flesh wants to feel fulfilled. You gave me feelings. Lord, can You grant me that peace? Help me to stop doubting and have faith and trust You. Lord, I  acknowledge Your sovereignty. Thank You for all that You have done and will do to help me. In Your mighty name. Amen."

Friend, what do you want to say to God today?

Blessings,

Elaine